China

Our adventure continues to the land of China the world's most populous country with a population of over 1.3 billion, the Great Wall, and fireworks! 

Yanjing Beer

Darin: This is a very nice beer as far as a lager goes.

Cory: I like how there’s really no aftertaste.

Darin: You’re right, it has a very clean after-flavor.

Cory: I don’t drink that much imported beer, well of course until this blog, but it almost tastes like Heineken.

Darin: You’re right about the Heineken but to me this has more of a citrus flavor, like it has lemon in it.  I like how the bottle has the Great Wall of China on it.

Cory: I like how it says ‘Served Chilled’ in case you forget to stick it in the fridge.

Darin: Because it probably doesn’t taste good warm.  I think Mike was right about how we should have a pungent cheese with it.

Cory: Are we supposed to eat the outside part of this cheese?

Darin: Why not? What isn’t edible?

Cory: Good point, you can pretty much eat about anything according to My Strange Addiction, have you watched that show?

Darin: (laughing) Yes that is the show where they eat soap and stuff, so I guess you can eat anything.

Tsingtao Pure Draft Beer

Cory: Oooh, taste it.  It tastes like…nothing.

Darin: It’s not nothing, it has a bit of bitterness to it.  I’m tasting a hint of nuttiness, but just a bit, not overpowering, with maybe a dash of silliness too.

Cory: I’m putting on a band from Beijing – you wouldn’t guess they’re from China but they are.  They’re called Brain Failure, check it out.  http://youtu.be/8spQ4Oqwy7I

Darin: Are they singing lyrics?

Cory: For me hating Chinese food as much as I do, their beer doesn’t rub me the wrong way like their food does.  I think I’d like this beer if I didn’t enjoy beer normally.  You know what I mean?

Darin: No.

Cory: It’s very mild.  We haven’t said too much about this beer.

Darin: What can we say about it?  It’s easily drinkable.  I wonder if this would actually go with Chinese food?

Cory: Considering my aversion to Chinese food, I would freakin’ pound this just to fill up so I didn’t have to eat that crap.

Darin: It almost has a woody flavor to it.

Cory: (giggling) You want me to write it has a woody flavor to it?

Darin: Yes.  Like, if you were to suck on…

Cory: (snort)

Darin: Sucking on a toothpick.  It has that woody flavor.

Cory: Is Dim Sum Chinese food?

Darin: Dim Sum is SO good!

Cory: YUCK!  That’s SO gross!!!  It’s a mystery food wrapped in snot!! 

Darin: Dim Sum is basically Pu Pu.  In Hawaii, that’s an appetizer.  In China, that’s an appetizer.  You’ve never had quality Dim Sum obviously, and I’d suggest China Palace in Oakland.

Cory: NO.  For one thing, I don’t want my food brought to me by some guy with a cart and a bunch of mystery food wrapped in slime.

Darin: That’s the fun of it, the guy with the cart!

Cory: No thank you.  And how many times has that cart been around the block before it gets to you?

Darin: What kind of Dim Sum have you had!?!  Did you have the kind with Dinty Moore beef stew in it?  There’s a kind with sesame seeds on the outside and sweet bean paste inside.

Cory: First of all, I don’t want any part of it.  Honestly, I would eat those duck embryos that the dude from the Travel Channel eats before I eat Dim Sum.  I think that’s some sort of Asian delicacy.  Case closed.

Tsingtao Lager Beer

Cory: I can smell this one just from cracking it open.

Darin: Oh my.

Cory: What do you smell?

Darin: This is a lot stronger beer flavor than the Tsingtao Draft.  Does it taste stronger to you?

Cory: Yup.  It’s still light though.

Darin: This is bitter and has a lot stronger hoppy flavor to it.

Cory: This beer has a malty taste to me.

Darin: It’s really bitter to me.

Lucky Buddha

Cory: This tastes very mild.  Considering how offensive Chinese food is to me, their beer is not half bad. Their website says, ‘The ancient ingredients in Lucky Beer is a subtle blend of local malt, rice, hand selected hops and water.’  I think water must be the main ingredient.

Darin: I would think the ancient ingredient would be…I’m not liking it so I don’t think my words will be kind.  This beer has an aftertaste of bitter beer barf.  I can’t say that I’m a big fan of this, but yet I’m still drinking it. 

Cory: Why is this so offensive to you?  It just tastes like water to me?

Darin: (gagging) I don’t know about you, but this just tastes like bitter barf.  I could be buzzing just a little bit.

Cory: Well, I’m not buzzing and it tastes like freaking water.  Oh!  Listen to this, ‘Lucky Beer is brewed with pure, drinkable water from the Qiandao Lake.’  See, they keep mentioning water in the ingredients.  I don’t see how something that tastes like nothing could be so offensive to you.

Darin: I have to wonder why you can’t taste it?  What does it taste like?

Cory: Nothing!

Darin: It tastes like what I would imagine a sweaty armpit to taste like, which is not something I particularly care for.

Cory: Hmmm.  If this tastes like sweaty armpits, then sweaty armpits don’t bother me.

Darin: I won’t judge someone that likes sweaty armpits.  I had a perception that this one would have a crisp citrusy flavor to it, but it does not taste like the dew from a fresh spring morning, it just smells like the monks had sweaty rats swimming in the vats and it’s sour and bitter and repulsive to my taste buds. 

Cory: Really?  It’s been like 20 minutes and you won’t even finish your beer?!

Darin: I can’t do it.

Cory: You’ll drink Belgium’s cough syrup beer and you won’t finish this?

Darin: I can’t do it.  It’s horrible.  I’m switching to another one.  I like the bottle but the beer sucks. (Darin chugs the beer just to finish it, because Cory is giving him a hard time)

(some time later, after Darin has switched back to Tsingtoa)

Darin: What are you drinking?

Cory: Lucky Beer.

Darin: Ugh!  Once again, I have to bow to your mastery of being able to drink just about anything.  That’s impressive.

Cory: It’s just water in a Buddha bottle.

Darin: Maybe water mixed with cockroach. 

Cory: Let me ask you this.  Why is their beer so weak?!  Really, they can’t throw some alcohol into the barrel when they brew their beer?  I’m on like my 10^th beer and not even buzzed. 

Darin: I was thinking the same thing!  You know another reason I like Tsingtao?  It says ‘Green Food’ on it, what does that even mean?  Does that mean Chinese people count this as food?  It would explain a lot.  If this is food, how many calories do you think is in this?

Cory: 200.

Darin: What?!  Where did you read that?!

Cory: It’s 200 calories, case closed.